Forever Friend Zoned Page 6

  Chapter 9

  Jeff

  “Turn right,” the GPS said.

  It was my hometown, but it had changed enough that I needed GPS to find certain places. I pulled to a stop in front of a house. I doublechecked the address to make sure I was at the right place. It said I was. I climbed out of my truck and saw a small wooden sign directing clients to a door that was not the main front door of the home. That made a lot more sense.

  There was a sign that said to go in. I opened the door and found myself in a small waiting room with just two chairs and a big green plant that I suspected was fake. There were a few motivational posters on the wall, which made sense for a life coach’s waiting room to have.

  A man popped his head out of a door. “Hey there,” he greeted and stepped out. He was tall, with perfect hair, a perfect smile, and piercing blue eyes. I bet he never had a problem getting anyone to like him. He carried himself with confidence and oozed charm.

  “I’m here for a four o’clock. I’m a little early.”

  “Early is good,” he said and reached down to the desk to pick up a file. I waited while he opened it and read. His eyes popped up and looked at me before looking back at the paperwork.

  “Did I get the wrong day?” I asked. I got the feeling there was something wrong.

  “No, no, you’re fine. Did you go to Sunrise?”

  At first, I didn’t know what he was talking about, and then it hit me. “The junior high?”

  “Yes.”

  “I did.”

  He grinned. “I knew it! You’re Jefferson Lakewood.”

  I kind of thought that was obvious, considering he was looking at the paperwork I had filled out online and submitted. “Yes, I am.”

  “I’m Erik Wesson,” he said and extended his hand.

  I shook his hand. “It’s nice to meet you.”

  He laughed. “No, dude. It’s me, ERock!”

  I immediately dropped his hand and looked at him more closely. ERock. He was the other man in Alora’s life. Back then, everyone wanted to be with Alora, but she only had eyes for Todd. ERock got a lot closer to her than I did, which still made me feel insanely jealous.

  “ERock,” I said, the bitterness on my tongue making me curl my lip a bit.

  “How have you been?” he asked enthusiastically.

  “Good. Great. You?”

  He grinned bigger. Back in the old days, we’d been good friends. And then he and Alora started spending more time together. She drifted away from me and landed with him. I didn’t think they were dating, but he had taken my place in her friend zone.

  “I’m doing great. I can’t believe you are standing here. Let’s go in my office. I’d love to catch up.”

  I debated leaving. I wasn’t sure he was the man I was going to feel the most comfortable chatting with. “You’re a life coach?” I asked as if to verify I was in the right place.

  “I am. And you? What do you do?”

  I sat down in a comfortable chair while he sat in a matching one. It felt very much like a shrink’s office, much more than a life coach’s office. Then again, I had not been in either before today and didn’t have much to go on. “I’m a personal trainer.”

  “No kidding? That explains why you look so good.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Didn’t you go to Texas or Florida or something like that?”

  “Texas. I came back to work at The Zone.”

  “Ah, that place has been the talk of the town.”

  “It’s a great gym.”

  “So, what brings you here, Jeff? Can I call you Jeff? That’s what you used to go by.”

  I didn’t correct him, but only a handful of people called me Jeff. The other names I was called tended to be very different than my given name. “Yes, that’s fine. I’m here just to get a little guidance, if that makes sense.”

  “Guidance? I’m a life coach. My job is to help you identify your goals and help you reach them. I imagine our jobs are very similar. You work with the physical and I work with the other stuff that isn’t always so easy to work out.”

  He had a point. “I’m adrift,” I said for lack of a better word. “I don’t feel like I’m getting anywhere in my personal life. I’m twenty-six and still single with no real inclination to find a partner in life. I want one, but I just can’t seem to find the energy to make that first step.”

  “Partner?” he repeated the word.

  “A woman. Not a man.”

  He chuckled. “Hey, no judgment.”

  “I’m not gay. I want to be with a woman, but I don’t want the hassle.”

  “The hassle?”

  I shrugged. “That’s why I’m here. I can’t seem to find a woman that makes me want to try. I’ve dated plenty, and they were great women, but none of them gave me that feeling that made me want to really put forth an effort. Am I making sense?”

  “It sounds like you don’t want to put forth an effort because you already know what you want, or rather, who you want.”

  “I think I thought I knew but now I’m not sure.”

  “Old flame?”

  I smirked. “Apparently not.”

  “This old flame wouldn’t happen to be our old friend Alora is it?”

  I wanted to crawl under my chair. “You remember that?”

  “Man, you had it bad for that girl.”

  “Yes, I did, but this is different. I’m older and I think I’m looking for something with a little more substance than a crush.”

  “All right, I can understand that. What is it you want?”

  I shook my head. “I think that is the problem. I don’t know. I want the whole package. I want to go home to a woman I love. I want to build a life with a family. I just feel like I’m floating through life.”

  “You’ve identified what’s missing. Now we need to help you figure out how you are going to get what it is you want. Then, we need to discuss why you are holding back.”

  “Me holding back?”

  “Yes. You are an attractive man. You’re successful. You seem fairly put-together. The only reason you are feeling this detachment is because you choose to be detached.”

  I wasn’t sure I liked what he was saying. I got it, but I was hoping there would be a magic pill. When people came to me at the gym, they wanted a quick and easy solution to reach their fitness goals. I wanted the same.

  “I am guarded,” I admitted. “I don’t like to put myself out there.”

  “Why not?”

  I felt like I should be stretched out on a couch. “Honestly, I think it stems from those early tween years. You remember how I was. That baggage has followed me. It’s shaped me. I see certain people and I want to talk to them, but I hold back because I’m not sure I’m good enough. Not good enough, but like they are tens and I’m a four.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “I’m not hitting on you, but have you looked in a mirror recently?”

  “It’s not just the looks. It’s all of it.”

  He nodded. “You feel unworthy because silly kids said some rude things. It sucks, but those things said during our formative years really stick.”

  “Yeah, they do.”

  “Are you serious about stepping outside of your comfort zone?”

  “If it means getting out of this rut I’m in, yes.”

  “All right. Think of me as your personal trainer in life. You keep doing what you are with the fitness thing. I think that’s part of your identity. You need it and I want you to hold on to that. Use it to your advantage. Use it as a crutch of sorts to get you started.”

  “Started on what?”

  He smiled again. “Your homework.”

  “Homework?”

  “I want you to focus on making friends. You’re back in town, and I’m sure there are still some old faces around, but there are plenty of new ones. You’re in a perfect job to meet people who share your interests. Strike up a conversation with a coworker. Get to know them. Be friendly. Offer a little bit of information abo
ut yourself.”

  I inwardly cringed. Just the thought of doing so made me anxious. “I can do that,” I said.

  He softly laughed. “I don’t want you to hit on any women or try to date anyone. You’re dipping your toes into the world of relationships. A date is just a dinner with a stranger if you don’t allow yourself to open up. Don’t waste your time or money on a date right now. We are going to take the first step into forming a real relationship.”

  “Trust me, I have no interest in dating anyone that works at my gym,” I told him. I was still reeling from the dinner with Fran. “That’s probably a good thing. Don’t want to mix business with pleasure. The gym world can be very small. You date one or two of your coworkers and it tends to get messy.”

  “Dating is one thing, but we aren’t talking about the kind of dating you were doing. We are talking about two people sharing a meal or going to a movie in an effort to get to know each other better. Dating does not equate sex.”

  Now we were getting a little too personal. “I don’t want a gaggle of friends. I want a girlfriend. I’m not getting any younger.”

  “You have your sights set on someone.”

  “No, not necessarily but Alora happens to be a client at the gym. We ran into each other and I would like to see if there is a chance we might date.”

  “I had a feeling that’s what you were angling for. I don’t think it’s a terrible idea, but you aren’t ready. You know you aren’t ready, which is why you are here.”

  “That doesn’t mean I won’t be ready. I’d like to see if there is something.”

  “I don’t blame you, but if you rush it, you could ruin it. You need to make sure you are in a good place. A place that comes from being confident in who you are and what you want. You are so used to holding back, you might not open up to her. If she senses you holding back, she is going to think you aren’t really interested. You don’t want that, do you?”

  “No.”

  “Take it slow. Work on your conversational skills. Work on feeling confident enough to talk about you.”

  It was a little eerie that he seemed to know me so well. “I can do that.”

  “Good. Feel free to check in with me at any time. I’m yours day or night. If you find yourself in a crisis, give me a call. I can provide you with advice to get you through a situation. We’ll keep doing that until you can do it on your own.”

  “I appreciate that, and I really hope I don’t have to call you.”

  “Calling me is what will help you learn. If you are training someone and they are struggling to use a machine, wouldn’t you tell them to ask for help?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then we have a deal. I’ll check in with you in a couple of days.”

  I got to my feet. “Thanks, ERock. I appreciate the advice.”

  He stood and slapped a hand on my shoulder. “It’s good to see you again. I’m glad you’re back and I wish you lots of luck with Alora.”

  “I’m going to need it,” I said and walked out.

  I headed to my condo, mulling over what he said. I hoped this was the trick. I hoped this was the magic pill that changed the course of my life.

  I didn’t know if Alora was my destiny, but I had to find out. I had to know if the torch I had carried for her all these years was real. I couldn’t walk away until I knew for sure.

  Once I knew, then I could go from there.

  Chapter 10

  Alora

  I scoured the pantry looking for something to satisfy the craving I had. I wanted sweet. Sweet was fattening and went against my diet, but I wanted it. Just a little bite. Just a little something to take the edge off. Was that too much to ask? Was that really going to break the diet?

  I moved a few boxes around and found a box of cookies. I damn near knocked myself out lunging for the box and bonking my head on a shelf. I pulled out the box, victory at hand, but I couldn’t quite deliver the death blow.

  I carried the box to the counter and set it down. I stared at it, turning it around to read the nutritional value. Why in the world would they say a serving was four cookies? How many calories was just one cookie? I didn’t want to do the math.

  I stared at the box before slowly pulling out the tray of chocolate chip cookies. They all looked so good. I told myself one cookie wouldn’t be a dealbreaker. But just one? That was not going to be enough. Two cookies. Two cookies were still half a serving.

  But eating cookies was not what someone did when they were on a diet. A good girl would never go looking for the cookies. A good dieter would have more willpower than I did. That was how I got in this position. I didn’t have willpower. I sucked at this kind of thing.

  Why did I need to be skinny? Why couldn’t I be pleasantly plump? That’s why it was named that in the first place. I would be very good at being pleasant if I could eat a cookie when I wanted and enjoy ranch dressing.

  “What are you doing, Alora?” my mother said as she walked into the kitchen. She sounded like I was holding a puppy over a boiling pot of water.

  “I’m looking for a snack.”

  She snatched the box off the counter and shoved it back into the pantry. “You don’t need to eat cookies. If you want a snack, those premade meals are in the freezer and the fridge. They include snacks, but you don’t have time for a snack. You have company.”

  “What? I do?”

  “Yes. Go. Don’t be a bad host.”

  I couldn’t begin to guess who it was. I wouldn’t be surprised if it wasn’t another personal trainer come to save me from myself. I stepped into the foyer and froze when I saw the man looking at one of my father’s expensive pieces of art.

  “What are you doing here?” I snapped.

  Todd spun around. He smiled. It was like looking at a rattlesnake. I stepped back as he stepped forward. “Hey, babe.”

  “Babe? What the hell are you talking about?”

  “Don’t be like that. I’ve missed you.”

  “Did you get kicked in the head? Should I call an ambulance? I think you’re suffering from a head injury.”

  He laughed. “Very funny.”

  “I’m not laughing. What are you doing here?”

  “I came to talk to you. Can we go outside?”

  “Why?”

  “We could sit down in the living room.”

  “Is this going to be a long conversation?”

  “I think it will be. Let’s go up to your room.”

  “Hell no.”

  I headed for the stairs and was almost to them when I realized he was following me. The last place I wanted him was in my bedroom. I did a quick turn and walked to the sitting room or whatever the hell my mother called it. I flopped down in a chair and waited.

  “How are you?” he asked.

  “Why do you care? If you did care, you wouldn’t have cheated on me and dumped me. You don’t care.”

  “I do care. Things can be better between us. I’m ready to take you back.”

  It was like nails on a chalkboard. “You’re ready to take me back?” I repeated. “Isn’t that supposed to be my line?”

  “We both made some mistakes, but we can work through them.”

  “What fucking mistake did I make?”

  “You weren’t innocent in the situation.”

  “I sure as hell was.”

  He waved a hand and sat down in a chair. “We’re getting off topic. I’ve done a lot of soul-searching and I realized I missed you. I know we are right for each other. I want to start over.”

  “And if I don’t?”

  “You do. I know you do.”

  “I would never be able to trust you. You broke that trust and I think it is the kind of broken that will never go back to normal.”

  “Alora, we both made mistakes.”

  I shook my head. “Again, I think you are confused. I didn’t cheat on you. I didn’t belittle you.”

  “I’m willing to move past all that stuff in the past.”

  “Oh gee, that’s big o
f you.”

  “I’d like to help you get in shape and regain some of that confidence you used to have. While I help you, you can help me.”

  “Help you? I can’t help you stop being a cheater. That’s on you.”

  “You can help me stay focused. Without you, I’m nowhere near the man I used to be. I need you to guide me and keep me on track. I need you to help me with my career. I can only do that with you by my side.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You want my father’s connections. You don’t want me.”

  “Alora, that’s not true. You are the one who motivates me. You inspire me. I want to do the same for you. I want to inspire you to lose the weight. We can be each other’s support system. You cheer me on, and I will cheer you on.”

  “Are you going to drive me to the gym? Pull the box of cookies out of my hand?”

  “I will encourage you to get to the gym,” he said. “I can’t work out with you. My knee, you know?”

  “Of course, your knee,” I said. “Your poor knee. Poor Todd couldn’t go pro and got saddled with my fat ass. Didn’t you say I didn’t deserve you? Something like I didn’t care about your reputation enough to stay in shape. Oh, I know, you didn’t want to be seen with me because you were embarrassed that I let myself go.”

  He shrugged. “I probably said some things I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. I’ll do better. I’ll encourage instead of discourage. I’ll drive you to the gym. I’ll happily help you make better food choices. Whatever you need to get back to your goal weight.”

  “Do I have a goal weight?”

  “Of course, you do. We can figure it out if you don’t know.”

  I closed my eyes and dug deep into my self-control reserves. “Todd, I think it’s probably better for us both if you leave.”

  “You don’t want to talk through this?”

  “No.”

  “We are a good, solid couple. We’ll get through this tough time.”

  I scoffed. “How are we going to get through? You dumped me. You walked out on me and sent me home to mommy and daddy while you went out and fucked whoever crossed your path. That isn’t something we work through.”